This is a silly fanfiction of Pyramid Head chilling with his buddy. He goes over all of his scenario's with James in a comical fashion. Enjoy.
Pyramid Head: "Hey, man."
Patient: "Oh, hey."
Pyramid Head: "How you doin', buddy?"
Patient: "Pretty good. And you?"
Pyramid: "Ah, you know. Gettin' by. Want a cup of coffee? Just made some."
Patient: "I... can't. I don't exactly have arms... that work."
Pyramid Head: "Oh, yeah. Sorry."
Patient: "Common blind mistake."
Pyramid Head: "Yeah. OH, YEAH. I had a crazy day yesterday!"
Pyramid Head: "Yeah, man. I kept running into this guy that was wandering around the town."
Patient: "Is that so?"
Pyramid Head: "Yep. I first saw him walking down a hall. I heard a man yell, so I went to go check it out. I'm not used to seeing other people in that place, so I got kinda freaked out and just stared at him. I know it wasn't polite, but I had no idea of what to do!"
Patient: "Damn. That sounds freaky."
Pyramid Head: "Tell me about it. I think he peeped on me having some casual sex later on and shot at me."
Patient: "Well that's just rude!"
Pyramid Head: "Then caught me wrestling with a Patient friend. I thought it'd be great if I wrestled him, too, to try and encourage a friendship and all, but then he began to attack me. I got so angry I attacked back and couldn't stop. Then I heard the siren and left for work."
Patient: "You were late that day, too."
Pyramid Head: "And it's all his fault."
Patient: "Did you see him again?"
Pyramid Head: "Yeah, many times. I bumped into him on the roof of the hospital. Literally. I was dragging my knife around and accidentally knocked him. He fell off the roof. I would have felt more guilty if I hadn't been runnin' into him so much. It got REALLY aggravating. Then on my way home I came across him in that jagged hallway with that hooker who screwed me out of my money."
Pyramid Head: "Yeah her. I told her if I ever saw her face again I'd kill her. So I did. I don't care how many times I'd have to do it, I'll keep murdering her."
Patient: "Let me guess. You saw him again."
Pyramid Head: "Uh-huh. I was in my labyrinth, cleaning my blade when I heard some noise. I wandered out to see what it was and THERE HE WAS AGAIN! Of course, I got a bit pissed off because it's my territory and you're the only person besides my wife that I let in. Oh, and check this: HE TOOK MY KNIFE!"
Patient: "NO WAY!"
Pyramid Head: "YEAH WAY!"
Patient: "What a JERK-OFF!"
Pyramid Head: "I KNOW, RIGHT?! I killed that Maria chick again and went out to look for my knife. I didn't get to find it, though, had to get back to work. After that I heard my depressed relatives, they carry the spears and all, tried to take care of him themselves and failed. Then they killed themselves. Big surprise. He left afterwords. With my knife. That I've owned for years. Man, what an ass..."
Patient: "That knife was the only thing that separated you from your family, too, since it was one of a kind and you all...kind of... look alike. No offense."
Pyramid Head: "Exactly. And none taken. Well, my break's over. Gotta go."
Patient: "Yeah, I gotta get back under the van. To scare people."
Pyramid Head: "Hey, maybe you'll get me someday!"
Patient: "Hah. See ya."